Things I think, But dare not say…Should the subaltern speak? (Is that Spelled Right?)


Let the cliches of “who am I?” begin…hmm perhaps I should tell you-I am a scholar, an academic, a woman, a terrible speller, and I believe in God, insert gasp here- After contemplating the issues from my final presentation of “Faux Scholar” some of the women in class were up in arms…”you’re not a fraud, no phony here, look, see you are a scholar, look, see…” hmm the men produced a deafening silence, maybe it’s better that way.  So driving home, I contemplated their voices in my head, their looks, of what I saw as perhaps shame, pity, and a whisper of  “I feel that way too sometimes”-anonymous classmate quote-  Then I continue with the day and want to go to bed, until I see Mike’s post of Foxx, and “wash your ass”- so I did, hopped in the shower and thought about who the hell I am.  My father raised a loud girl, treated as an adult, with valid and important ideas that should be spoken aloud, while his relatives asserted that children especially little girls should be seen and not heard.  Hector, dad, as I call him, let me speak, in fact he said I should speak.  He was the one who first taught me about, then called, female circumcision, now referred to as genital mutilation.  I as have only recently come to realize, is that he was my first professor.  Training his daughter in political science, economics, gender inequality, the colonial aspects of sugar, slave trade, black panthers, war, homeless and countless over “seminar” classes that took place in his truck.  So I am no fraud, phony, fake, swindler, and other amusing adjectives, I am Julie Cheri Durazo, Ph.d candidate since 1980, yes I’m counting from my mother’s womb since I think that’s when my father started the lesson.


1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. MP:me  |  May 12, 2010 at 10:55 pm

    There is something of the rawness of this project that really works: calling into question the rules of voice, self-presentation, style, and qualification of academia, but of course the wildness pulls away from it too. You leave much of the work of cleaning it up to us: making connections, drawing lines (across your text, and to the texts we’ve read), i.e. where’s the thesis? the conclusions? All that percolates around the work, and speaks beautifully and loudly outside the norms, but some of the norms of academia make conversation easier, as well as blocking access or method.


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